An important part of becoming any actor

is showing up to a room full of people who look

more or less like you, all auditioning for the same bit part.

I guess some find this threatening and/or a source

of destabilization, but, for me, my everyday activities

already leave me so threatened and destabilized

that it’s hard to imagine a throng of lookalikes

making that much of a dent. Asked why he didn’t paint

from nature, Jackson Pollock responded I AM NATURE.

Asked why I don’t live in an admittedly flawed

utopian experiment in which work is substituted

for property as the basis of social belonging,

I say I AM AN ADMITTEDLY FLAWED UTOPIAN

EXPERIMENT IN WHICH WORK IS SUBSTITUTED

FOR PROPERTY AS THE BASIS OF SOCIAL

BELONGING. I spend all day reading magazine

columns and spitting back my own stories. My Most

Embarrasing Moment would have to be a tie

between when I forged NUMBER 1 (LAVENDER MIST)

using five separate pigments that weren’t developed

until years after Pollock’s death, and that time

I strutted through the neighborhood assuming

nobody but me could tell I was dead, when actually

half the street was texting each other SHE THINKS

WE DON’T NOTICE [eyeroll gif]. I want to be a better

person. Divest from bad habits. I also want to

just hop in the hedge and hide from it all, like the thirdmost

surrendered domestic animals (rabbits).